Goku and Vegeta in: Michaelangelo and the Pope
by Draco the Lizard
Summary: A DBZ rewrite of the fantastic Monty Python sketch. Reposted after someone reported it for being a script, and it's now actual prose! Yay! [Oneshot, expect no sequel]


Goku and Vegeta in: Monty Python's Michelangelo and the Pope

This one is slightly edited. Someone (No idea who, was acting weird again.) pointed out a couple mistakes, and I edited them out. I really should get a beta-reader for this.

The original of this belongs all Monty Python members, dead, alive, or something else.  
I merely made it a bit...weirder.

Also, this fic has been deleted because it used the forbidden script form. Never mind that I had written this before that silly rule was ever created. Still, I made a bit of prose of it, and it's nowhere NEAR scriptfic now. So nyah to you, reporting person.

King Vegeta is sitting in his throne room, slightly bored. His trusted servant Nappa is standing next to him, and important sounding Saiyan music is playing. All that still doesn't please the king.

Nappa clears his throat, and the king looks at him in annoyance. "Kakarot to see you, your Highness."

"Who?" The king replies, annoyed and confused now.

Nappa starts to explains. "Kakarot, the famous renaissance artist whose best known works include the ceiling of the Saiyan Chapel, and the celebrated statue of the first king Vegeta –"

"Ah. Very well..." Vegeta interrupts him. 

Nappa doesn't hear him, and continues with his explanation. "In 1514 he returned to Vegeta-sei and –"

Vegeta leans down and hisses in his ear. "All right, that's enough, that's enough, they've got it now!"

"Oh."

Kakarot, or Goku as he is also known, enters the throne room. "Good evening, your Highness."

Vegeta looks rather annoyed at the newcomer. "Evening, Kakarot. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours, "The Last Battle.""

Kakarot smiles happily. "Oh, yeah?"

Vegeta scowls at the happy grin. "I'm not happy about it."

Kakarot's smile falls. "Oh, dear. It took me hours."

"Not happy at all." Vegeta tells him.

"Is it the bananas you don't like?" Kakarot asks.

"No," The king says, shaking his head.

Kakarot grins again. "Oh, no, I know, they do have a bit of colour, don't they? And they look so yummy, like you can just eat them and –"

Vegeta interrupts him. "No, not the bananas."

Kakarot snaps his fingers, he has an idea. "Oh, I know, you don't like the Oozaru?"

Vegeta looks at him, slightly confused. "What Oozaru?"

"No problem, I'll paint him out," Kakarot says. Not a problem.

"I never saw an Oozaru!" Vegeta yells, wondering what else is on that damn painting if he missed an Oozaru.

"Uuh...he's right in the back. I'll paint him out! No sweat, I'll make him into a another warrior," Kakarot says, hoping to appease the king.

Vegeta does look a bit happier. "Aah."

Kakarot smiles again. "All right?"

Vegeta glares at him. "That's the problem."

Kakarot looks confused now. "What is?"

Vegeta keeps glaring at the painter. "The warriors."

Kakarot thinks he knows what the problem is, it's obvious. "Are they too Saiyan? I made Sahlad the most Saiyan."

The king sighs in annoyance. "No, it's just that there are twenty-eight of them."

Kakarot doesn't see the problem. "Oh, well, another one will never matter, I'll make the Oozaru into another one."

Vegeta can't believe he still hasn't got it. "No, that's not the point."

Kakarot shrugs. "All right. Well, I'll lose the Oozaru. Be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it." 

And still the painter doesn't get it! "That's not the point. There are twenty-eight warriors!" Vegeta yells.

Kakarot is silent for a bit. "Too many?"

"Well, of course it's too many!" Vegeta bursts out.

"Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a real last battle." Kakarot explains. "You know, not just any old last battle. Not like a last fight or a final arguement. But you know, I wanted to give the impression of a real mother of a blow-out, you know?"

"There were only twelve Saiyan warriors at the last battle," Vegeta says, in a voice that states that it is not to be meddled with.

Kakarot can't help but argue. "Well, maybe some of the others ones came along after – "

"There were only twelve altogether," Vegeta says, clearly working up to another outburst.

"Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know, to cheer 'em on?" Kakarot says. It certainly would be nice of the friends.

Vegeta has had enough of this. "Look! There were just twelve warriors and our Hero at the last battle. Our history books clearly say so."

"No friends?" Kakarot asks, wanting to be sure.

"No friends."

"Family?" Surely the warriors must've had families who wanted to support them.

"No." 

"Cheerleaders?" He might be able to paint some skirts on some of the warriors. It might look daft, but it was better than starting over again.

"No!" Vegeta yells, standing up from his throne.

"You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene, I could lose a few, you know I could –"

Kakarot argues.

"Look! There were only twelve warriors at –"

Kakarot grins again. He's got a great idea now. "I've got it! I've got it! We'll call it "The Last But One Battle"!"

"What?" Vegeta is confused again, and doesn't like one bit of it.

"Well there must have been one, if there was a last battle there must have been a one before that, so this, is the "Penultimate battle"! The history books don't say how many people were there, now does it?" Kakarot explains, and beams happily at the confused king.

"No, but –" The king starts.

"Well there you are, then!" Kakarot says, case closed for him.

Vegeta however, is not satisfied. "Look! The last battle is a significant event in the life of our Hero, the penultimate battle was not! Even if they had a robot-warrior and a marching band! Now, a last battle I commissioned from you, and a last battle I want! With twelve warriors and one Brolli!"

"One!" Just one Brolli? That's ridiculous!

Vegeta starts yelling again. "Yes one! Now will you please tell me what in Kami's name possessed you to paint this with three Brolli's in it?"

Kakarot is insulted now. "It works, mate!"

"Works?" Vegeta roars.

"Yeah! It looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones." And if the king can't see the greatness of that, then the king is stupider than Kakarot thought.

"There was only one Legendary SuperSaiyan!" His roar is, if possible, even louder than before.

"Ah, I know that, we all know that, what about a bit of artistic license?" Kakarot says. A bit o freedom is normal for an artiste of his calibre.

License? Pah! He pays for this painting. "Well one SuperSaiyan is what I want!"

Kakarot can't believe this. "I'll tell you what you want, mate! You want a bloody photographer! That's you want. Not a bloody creative artist to crease you up –"

Vegeta has gotten into the yelling mood by now. "I'll tell you what I want! I want a last battle with one Brolli, twelve warriors, no Oozarus, no mascottes, by Thursday lunch, or you'll get sent to another dimension!" He roars.

Kakarot is silenced by that, but doesn't want to leave without one last word. "Bloody dictator!" 

"Look! I'm the bloody king, I am! May not know much about art, but I know what I like!" Vegeta yells at his leaving form.

I don't know if the Saiyans had any kind of religion, but Kami instead of God sounded good enough to me.

Hey, look on the bright side, it wasn't all THAT bad, now was it?

And remember kiddies, it's only cheating if you get caught!

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